Look I know you don’t feel the same way about me, I’m not stupid. It’s fine. I’m actually fine with the way things are that I’m in a constant state of agitation. It’s actually better than any real requited, love sex thing I’ve ever had…No I’m saying that I want to be your friend and it’s okay with me and it’s okay with me that there is nothing else but can I just tell you one time the way I feel about you…Yes I’ll be your friend and I won’t press you to be anything else if you just let me get it out one time…Pamela I’m in love with you, yeah it’s that bad. You’re so beautiful to me. Shut up let me tell you, let me. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you are with me and you are just fun and you shit all over me. And you make fun of me and you are real. I don’t have enough time in any day to think about you enough. I feel like I’m gonna live a thousand years because that’s how long it’s going to take for me to have one thought about you which is that I’m crazy about you Pamela. I don’t want to be with anyone else…I don’t. I really don’t. I don’t think about women anymore I think about you. I had a dream the other night that you and I were on a train, we were on this train and you were holding my hand. That’s the whole dream, you were holding my hand and I felt you holding my hand and I woke up and I couldn’t believe it wasn’t real. I’m sick in love with you. It’s like a condition it’s like polio. I feel like I’m gonna die if I can’t be with you and I can’t be with you so I’m gonna die. And I don’t care because I was brought into existence to know you and that’s enough. The idea that you would want me back is like greedy. I’m doing a bad job at this.